Cooper Green

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

This will be my final post for a while. When I return I'll probably have something brand new to show you (spoiler alert: once you've learned the language, Latvian limericks can be quite amusing). But for now, as you have seen, I have nothing new to show you. So I'll just wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2011, and thank you all sincerely for visiting, laughing and commenting. See you later.

Another lazy repost

2010-12-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy repost

2010-12-14T00:00:00.001-08:00

You think I'm bad now, wait until you see six.

2010-12-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy Weekend Repost

2010-12-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

Mind if I sniff your bum?

2010-12-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

On the other hand, a sequel seems likely.

2010-12-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

And you could smoke there.

2010-12-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Is there room to add "We also ship to Canada"?

2010-12-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's nothing funnier than a good leghold trap joke

2010-12-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy Weekend Repost

2010-12-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Famous Pirate Amputees

2010-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

The next one's about girth! Isn't this great?

2010-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I was thinking more like a day and a half.

2010-12-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Let your eyebrows grow, that might help.

2010-11-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

She's clean, Bob.

2010-11-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

Another lazy Weekend Repost

2010-11-27T00:00:00.001-08:00

I'll need your help in about 20 minutes.

2010-11-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

Vinegar? Soy sauce? Mustard? Stop me when it tastes like something.

2010-11-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

I suppose you'll want gold instead of plastic as well.

2010-11-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

Good gracious, your ends are an absolute mess!

2010-11-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

I can probably change "Carl" to "Earl" pretty easily

2010-11-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

Weekend Repost

2010-11-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Kitty

2010-11-19T00:00:00.001-08:00

Try to imagine me not wearing a fake moustache.

2010-11-18T00:00:00.001-08:00

He can whack that ugly mole while he's at it.

2010-11-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

Meantime, would you like a 3-year old People magazine?

2010-11-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

My friend would like to see the wine list too, please.

2010-11-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

He doesn't like eating bugs. Weird, eh?

2010-11-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

True, but Grumpy was different.

2010-11-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well, Amy Winehouse seems interesting.

2010-11-12T00:09:00.000-08:00

Maybe she would already have a smart person's job?.

2010-11-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

He's got them feelin' dead blu-u-u-es

2010-11-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

He seems to have soured on Parcheesi entirely.

2010-11-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

But you might look like you're laughing on the outside.

2010-11-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

A little WD-40 would be handy too.

2010-11-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

I bet Hell is open.

2010-11-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

She picked a bad time to blow it.

2010-11-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, bonus! I found a ring down there!

2010-11-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Bacon's nice and crispy, too.

2010-11-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

But I'm keeping the tie.

2010-11-02T00:22:00.001-07:00

... but that Double Gooey Yummyburger sounds good

2010-11-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

The Right to Bear Claws

2010-10-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid your little 10-18 will just have to wait.

2010-10-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

We should probably see if your iPod's there as well.

2010-10-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

They should have to stay late, Miss Grundy

2010-10-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

That's it, no more eucalyptus tree tours for you.

2010-10-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks for making it so easy, Don Draper

2010-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Betty's got her Wilson back!

2010-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Take your time, Ma'am, we need to be sure.

2010-10-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

That's why I bought your ring off Craigslist

2010-10-23T00:00:00.001-07:00

On the other hand, it's time for our coffee break.

2010-10-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

Why is Elmer always saying, "Wee wee wee"?

2010-10-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

How many commas did the number have, Sweetie?

2010-10-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm also getting kind of attached to Bubba.

2010-10-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

In fact, my nipple is being bronzed right now.

2010-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Nobody wants to be in the bottom three quarters.

2010-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

And how long did I say you have?

2010-10-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'd better phone Mom and make sure she's watching.

2010-10-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

"The usual long distance charges will apply."

2010-10-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

I cleaned and dressed her in Ladies' Accessories.

2010-10-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I don't really need hands-free. Tongue-free is fine.

2010-10-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

I don't really need a walker, it's just handier.

2010-10-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

I told him not to sit on walls!

2010-10-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Turn a bit, I want to see what he scored.

2010-10-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

That line is free now. I'll put you through.

2010-10-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.

2010-10-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

And don't get me started on their beef dip sauce.

2010-10-06T00:00:00.001-07:00

My name is Gibson, and I'm a wide receiver.

2010-10-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Okay if I just stand downwind?

2010-10-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Having fun, Nana? This party's for you!

2010-10-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's over, Donald. Take your punishment like a duck.

2010-10-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

Sneeze or blow, but never pick. Trust me on this.

2010-10-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

Who would have guessed? One wayward peanut, placed there by persons unknown, and my spotless blogging reputation is thrown into disrepute. Thank goodness that's over. The authorities have been alerted, of course, and the perpetrator of this despicable crime will have not only the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to deal with, but his own tortured conscience as well. I plan to search my heart for forgiveness. I trust you will do the same.

Your patience and warm wishes gave me and my family courage through this difficult ordeal. To show our gratitude, there will be free candy for you, if you would be so kind as to drop by our home on October 31. Wear a costume, and carry a bag so we can recognize you. In light of the emotional strain these events have placed on our family, we ask that you refrain from leaving burning bags of dogshit on our front step.

Thank you. We cannot adequately express our gratitude for your patience throughout this ordeal, but we hope that you will accept tomorrow's duck cartoon as a small measure of our appreciation.

I don't seem to have a new post for you ...

2010-09-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

... but what's more alarming is that I'm not rushing out to get one. I get these funks from time to time. Let's just see how this one works out.

René Magritte turns it up a notch for the postseason

2010-09-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

This might even mean a new coffee machine!

2010-09-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Thou shalt not ignore the memo

2010-09-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

There's no room for creativity in pinching a loaf.

2010-09-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

I've never even seen the other side

2010-09-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

I can't hit those high notes any more

2010-09-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Must be that mouse I ate.

2010-09-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

If I'm lucky, maybe I can catch a little of Justin Effing Bieber's sunshine.

2010-09-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

I can't remember where we left the car.

2010-09-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

What is Thank You Sir, Have A Nice Day?

2010-09-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

The Phantom considers his post-Opera career choices

2010-09-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Phantom of The Oprah

Phantom Of The Vatican

Phantom Of Miami

Phantom Of The GaGa

Phantom Of Stupidity

Phantom Of The Courier Service

Phantom of Microbiology

That Piggy woman kept coming on to me. Didn't like it one bit.

2010-09-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'll call you back when I think of something else.

2010-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

Laughter might be the best medicine, but what if you're not funny?

2010-09-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

Also, we all want our backs to the wall.

2010-09-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

I can see that feller's saddle sores from here!

2010-09-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

A month at the most. Maybe spring. I'll call you in 2013.

2010-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00