Friday, August 27, 2010

He always kept his fingernails nicely trimmed.

8 comments:

bschooled said...

Nice work, Coop.

I literally almost fell out of my chair when I read this. I think part of it had to do with the fact that I can totally relate.


(...wtf?)

Er, do me a favor and forget I wrote this. (I think my sleeping pills are finally kicking in.)

Cooper Green said...

I'm happy you can relate, Bea, there must be lots of heartrending stories out there about the complex relationship between a dummy and a ventriloquist. It would help if I knew whether you were receiving somebody else's hand or delivering your own through someone's back door, and I'd be glad to do an entire post based on your experience. Tell me everything you know.

Oh wait, I see now that you want me to forget all this. I'd be glad to change the names, if that helps.

frigginloon said...

He should join the army ! OK, it's lame I know!!!

nursemyra said...

i miss the hand too :-(

Duncanr said...

Can I have a straw ?

Scott Oglesby said...

I had something good. I really did. Then I read B’s comment. Now I either have to go masturbate or throw up. One of those two things. Maybe both.

Cooper Green said...

Loon, if he can't even make his own mouth move, he's sure as hell not going to make it in the army.

Myra, I've got a thriving prosthetic hand business going. Simply send me the size and nature of the orifice that needs to be accommodated, and I'll get my people on it right away.

Sorry, Dunc, the liquids are just for show. He has rot issues.

Scott, please retire to the appropriate room. Take as long as you need. But don't tell me any more, not one more detail.

Cooper Green said...

Not that anyone will ever read this, but somebody from Fort Lee New Jersey visited this post today after Googling: "Just spent the last 8 hours sitting on a plane across from some granny who smelled like a dozen roses. There needs to be an exchange program for old ass ladies to drop off their disgusting perfume & pick up some new shit."